skinny

and i just wish i could be perfect for you

skinny and beautiful

a featherweight in your arms

i wish i could 

but the fight is so hard

the urge of food

the urge of not eating

it's a constant battle and it drives me mad

i want to be perfect for you

perfectly skinny 

and beautiful

a featherweight perfection

but i can't

and i keep fighting

and you tell me i'm beautiful

but i feel like you're lying

because i'm not beautiful

and i know that 

i realize i'm not

i'm just an ugly fat girl

with a stupid face

and stupid hair

stupid skin

stupid piercings

stupid teeth

stupid body

i don't understand myself

i just want to be happy

and i want to be perfect

perfectly skinny

just for him

but i can't

and that makes me sad

but one day

i'll look in the mirror

and see what i've wanted to see for years

my skin will be stretched over my bones

and i'll smile

because i managed to get there

and i'll be so proud

and so will you

at least

i hope

because everything i do

i do it for you

you only deserve the best

and i'm willing to get there